Self-Realization
Venkataraman did not have to wait for long,
nor had he to strive for it. It was about the
middle of the year 1896; Venkataraman was not
yet seventeen. One day he was sitting up alone
on the first floor of his uncle’s house.
He was in his usual robust health. But a sudden
and unmistakable fear of death took hold of
him. He felt he was going to die. Why this feeling
should have come to him he did not know. The
feeling of impending death, however, did not
unnerve him. He calmly thought about what he
should do. He said to himself: ‘Now, death
has come. What does it mean? What is it that
is dying? This body dies.’ Immediately
he lay down stretching his limbs out and holding
them stiff as though rigor mortis had set in.
He held his breath and kept his lips tightly
closed, so that to all outward appearance his
body resembled a corpse. Now, what would happen?
This was what he thought:
Well,
this body is now dead. It will be carried
to the burning ground and there burnt
and reduced to ashes. But with the death,
of this body am I dead? Is the body I?
This body is silent and inert. But I feel
the full force of my personality and even
the voice of the “I” within
me, apart from it. So I am the Spirit
transcending the body. The body dies but
the Spirit that transcends it cannot be
touched by death. That means I am the
deathless Spirit. |
As Bhagavan Sri
Ramana narrated this experience later on for
the benefit of his devotees it looked as though
this was a process of reasoning. But he took
care to explain that this was not so. The realization
came to him in a flash. He perceived the truth
directly. ‘I’ was something very
real, the only real thing. Fear of death had
vanished once and for all. From then on, ‘I’
continued like the fundamental sruti note that
underlies and blends with all the other notes.
Thus young Venkataraman found himself on the
peak of spirituality without any sadhana what
so ever. The ego was lost in the flood of Self-awareness.
All of a sudden the boy who used to be called
Venkataraman had been transformed into a sage
and saint. He was now a full-fledged Jnani with
perfect Self-knowledge.
A complete change occurred in the young sage’s
life. The things that he had valued earlier
now lost their value. The spiritual values that
were ignored till then became the only objects
of his attention. School, studies, friends,
and relations – none of these had now
any significance for him. He grew utterly indifferent
to his surroundings. Humility, meekness, non-resistance
and other virtues became his adornment. Avoiding
company he preferred to sit alone, all-absorbed
in concentration on the Self. He went to the
Meenakshi Temple every day and experienced an
exaltation every time he stood before the images
of the gods and the saints. Tears flowed from
his eyes profusely. The new vision was constantly
with him.
